Maximize Your Search for Your Ideal Loving Partner

Have you ever had the experience where you have talked with a potential partner over the phone several times and everything is clicking? You find that you have a lot in common, you make each other laugh, and it seems that you share similar values?

Then comes that moment, when one or both of you decide it is time to meet. You want to meet, but yet you find yourself so nervous worrying that the “chemistry” may not be real? Does that mean that your budding friendship with this person is over? It doesn’t have to be that way.

This has happened to me many times. One time in particular, I was talking with a maybe “Mr. Right” on the phone over several weeks. We had so much in common:  similar backgrounds, both born in New Jersey, both suffer from headaches, love of museums, concerts, etc. Then one day, it happened… we decided to meet. We met at a cozy little bistro, specializing in fusion cooking. I was so excited. I entered the restaurant and there he was.

Right away we knew that the chemistry was not there, but, by this time, we both really liked each other. The evening went on. He was too special to never talk with again, so I suggested we remain friends. In my He agreed. We continued to talk on the phone sharing our dating experiences and supporting one another as best we could by offering feedback from the opposite gender’s perspective. Eventually, he moved to London.

A few months after that, he contacted me by email. He told me about a new holistic approach to headaches from which we both suffered that he learned about while being abroad. I still use it to this day; it helps me tremendously. You never know.

From that moment on, I decided to shift my dating mindset entirely. Rather than looking at every first encounter as a “date,” I looked at it as a “meeting.” I sat with a potential partner and asked myself, “Could I see myself being friends with him?” If there was no chemistry and I still wanted to remain in contact, I explained that it had been wonderful getting to know him on the phone and maybe we could explore a friendship. I further explained that since we were both looking for a potential mate, we could keep each other in mind to suggest to friends of our own. Not only that, but how wonderful would it be to be supported by a friend of the opposite gender as we made our way through the “dating scene.”

As John Gray talks about in his book, “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus,” Martians and Venusians can be very different. As a Venusian, I became aware that I had a unique way of thinking and behaving. It was invaluable to me to have an “informant” from Mars explain the behaviors and thoughts of his fellow “Martians” that I was meeting. What a wonderful advantage and support to me.

Next time you find yourself going on the first “meeting,” I invite you to try this approach. You never know for sure… who you will really meet, what you may learn from and maybe love about that person.

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