Maximize Your Search for Your Ideal Loving Partner

Have you ever had the experience where you have talked with a potential partner over the phone several times and everything is clicking? You find that you have a lot in common, you make each other laugh, and it seems that you share similar values?

Then comes that moment, when one or both of you decide it is time to meet. You want to meet, but yet you find yourself so nervous worrying that the “chemistry” may not be real? Does that mean that your budding friendship with this person is over? It doesn’t have to be that way.

This has happened to me many times. One time in particular, I was talking with a maybe “Mr. Right” on the phone over several weeks. We had so much in common:  similar backgrounds, both born in New Jersey, both suffer from headaches, love of museums, concerts, etc. Then one day, it happened… we decided to meet. We met at a cozy little bistro, specializing in fusion cooking. I was so excited. I entered the restaurant and there he was.

Right away we knew that the chemistry was not there, but, by this time, we both really liked each other. The evening went on. He was too special to never talk with again, so I suggested we remain friends. In my He agreed. We continued to talk on the phone sharing our dating experiences and supporting one another as best we could by offering feedback from the opposite gender’s perspective. Eventually, he moved to London.

A few months after that, he contacted me by email. He told me about a new holistic approach to headaches from which we both suffered that he learned about while being abroad. I still use it to this day; it helps me tremendously. You never know.

From that moment on, I decided to shift my dating mindset entirely. Rather than looking at every first encounter as a “date,” I looked at it as a “meeting.” I sat with a potential partner and asked myself, “Could I see myself being friends with him?” If there was no chemistry and I still wanted to remain in contact, I explained that it had been wonderful getting to know him on the phone and maybe we could explore a friendship. I further explained that since we were both looking for a potential mate, we could keep each other in mind to suggest to friends of our own. Not only that, but how wonderful would it be to be supported by a friend of the opposite gender as we made our way through the “dating scene.”

As John Gray talks about in his book, “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus,” Martians and Venusians can be very different. As a Venusian, I became aware that I had a unique way of thinking and behaving. It was invaluable to me to have an “informant” from Mars explain the behaviors and thoughts of his fellow “Martians” that I was meeting. What a wonderful advantage and support to me.

Next time you find yourself going on the first “meeting,” I invite you to try this approach. You never know for sure… who you will really meet, what you may learn from and maybe love about that person.

Published on Wednesday May 5, 2010 in First Date Preparation. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

Good News from Imagine a Woman International: Throughout May 2010

This year the Imagine a Woman poem is celebrating its 15th year anniversary with a new website and new programs and opportunities for personal growth and professional enhancement. You’re invited to the launch of the IAW WomanSpirit Empowerment Program, throughout May, with free inspirational gifts and complimentary coaching at www.imagineAwoman.com. We’ll be celebrating WomanSpirit all month so get your party clothes on, invite your friends, and come on over.

Published on Tuesday May 4, 2010 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Is Your “Inner Entrepreneur” Keeping You from Finding a Loving Relationship?

Your love life doesn’t have to suffer because you are building your own business. There is room in your heart for both.

Women entrepreneurs I work with are under the false assumption that it’s not possible to have the energy and time to find an ideal romantic relationship and build a successful business at the same time. It’s a natural tendency to make earning money a priority, but it can really cut into a woman’s love life to the point where it may not exist! Of course that course leads to being lonely and overworked.

You can have it all when you follow certain guidelines to achieve a level of satisfaction in both areas of your life: setting priorities, getting organized, managing time more efficiently, etc. These strategies may be effective for the short term, but the results they produce usually don’t last because they focus on changing behavior rather than addressing the core thinking leading to those behaviors. These behavioral changes result from an outer influences that cause you to act against your natural tendencies, rather than a shift deep within leading to sustainable change.

I know you can “have it all” when you treat the pursuit of your love life with the same passion and commitment as you treat the building of your business. When you choose to live in accordance with your core values you engage in the process of “Self-Mastery.” When your efforts in business and relationship are in alignment with your core values, you automatically resonate with success. This automatically attracts business opportunities, and dating opportunities, which ultimately allow you to step into your unlimited potential.

The unique process I use approaches achieving changes in your life from a shift in “core” energy, as opposed to responding to externally imposed guidelines. It helps the individual discover the beliefs  adopted and perceptions picked up over time. Due to these beliefs and perceptions, a person develops default tendencies which either support the notion of “having it all” or reject it.

You can become conscious of how these default tendencies have guided your thoughts, feelings and actions and driven your ability to “have it all” or not. By shifting your behaviors from this core level, you are able to experience sustainable change. You can have it all!

Published on Wednesday April 28, 2010 in Energy and Relationship. 0 Comments Tags: , , , .

Remember the “Wedding Vase” – Together But Separate

When beginning any new relationship, particularly a “dating” relationship, it is easy to give yourself away. You may find yourself so caught up in the excitement and the infatuation of being with the other person, that you agree with almost everything the other person says and wants. However, as the relationship progresses, putting what you want and need below the needs and desires of the other person leads not only to giving yourself away, but damaging your self-love and your blossoming relationship.

The bottom line is that it is imperative to “Maintain Your Boundaries” (Heart Dating Principle No. 3). The seemingly simple act of maintaining your boundaries allows you to come together yet maintain your individuality, so as not to give yourself away to the other person and ultimately lose yourself in the relationship. Healthy boundaries reinforce the fact that you are complete within yourself and that you are coming together with this other person because you “want” to be and not because you “need” to be. When you come together in this way, you are more of an equal partner and your self-love remains intact.

In the Native American tradition, the Wedding vase serves as an ideal unifying symbol of being together but separate. It is a single vessel designed with two spouts symbolizing a man and woman living separate lives who are coming together. Individuals coming together while still maintaining their individuality is the best way to form a commitment of trust and strength.

Published on Monday April 26, 2010 in Start with Self-Love. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

3 Quick Tips For Finding the Perfect Relationship

One glorious spring afternoon, much like today, my mentor and I were sitting down to a cup of tea.  I was telling him that I have realized that my mission in life is to support and empower women to find their ideal partner. I explained that it had been a long and introspective journey for me.  When I was clear about what I wanted in a mate and loved myself more, I was finally ready to connect with another. I have now realized the bliss of heartfelt connection and love with another, and … with myself.

He understood just what I meant and offered me the following to share with my clients.  He further explained that it rarely fails for the people who have tried these tips:

TIP #1.     List 20 characteristics of your perfect mate.  (These can be personality traits, physical qualities, etc. – whatever is important to you.  You can list more that 20 if you wish.  I recommend that you do not be bashful.  Go for the gold and describe your perfect mate – No Limitations!

TIP#2.     Describe the person you want to be when you meet this person and then go about becoming this person.

TIP #3.     List all the things you want to do before you get yourself into a committed relationship and start doing them. (If you want to take a cruise with your single friends – do it, if you want to do a 2 week “Vision Quest” – do it.  If you want to hitchhike across Europe – do it, etc.)

I invite you to give this a try and please  remember, “There is Power in the Particular.”

Published on Saturday April 3, 2010 in Energy and Relationship, First Date Preparation and Start with Self-Love. 0 Comments