Tag Archive for 'self-love'

The Journey Begins With the Breeze On Your Face

The next time you “set sail” on the sea of dating possibilities, practice Heart Dating Principle #1, “Listen to Your Heart” and stay present in the moment. It is only when you are in the “now,” can you fully appreciate the “breeze on your face.” The more time we can spend living from our heart, the more we can connect with that higher universal consciousness that connects us all.

When we are present in the moment, the stories in our heads are no longer there. Why? Because there is no past, there is no future, there is just now. There is only knowledge or information void of emotional charge or judgment. How freeing!

The pivotal point in my life, when I finally understood “being in the moment” as the “key” to relationship success, occurred while sailing. This realization provided the foundation for my Heart DatingTM Navigation System: Chart Your Unique Course to True & Lasting Love.

Several years ago when I was in my early 40’s, I took sailing lessons for the first time. At first I thought, “I’m too old, I’m too this, I’m too that.” Doubts about my capabilities filled my head and my confidence was shaken. But I did it anyway. I stepped through the fear.

There was one time in particular, out on the water alone, that I call my “perfect moment.” I was on Boston Harbor in a tiller-operated sailboat. It was with only one finger—my index finger—that I was navigating that sailboat.

The sails of the boat were perfectly trimmed, maximizing the wind. The sun was setting and the weather was beautiful. It was a postcard moment. I realized, with just one finger and the lightest touch, I was perfectly aligned with the universe. There was no past … there was no future … there was just the present moment.

I felt so empowered, so aligned, so abundant. There were no stories going on in my head. No one was around to influence my thoughts. At that present moment, I was completely myself, living from my heart, and experiencing life to the max. I thought, “Wow. Why can’t I do this all the time?”

That’s the way the sailing metaphor came about. The perfect moment for me was when I was sailing in the present moment, experiencing “the breeze on my face.” It was effortless. I was listening to my heart and expressing my truest self. For the first time, I felt the freedom to be me. I was truly empowered. I knew I could now take action from an abundant place toward what I most wanted… a deeply connected relationship with a loving partner.

When you are in the present moment, there is only love. Love for yourself, love for the universe, and love for a potential partner.

Published on Friday June 24, 2011 in Energy and Relationship and Start with Self-Love. 0 Comments Tags: self-love.

Remember the “Wedding Vase” – Together But Separate

When beginning any new relationship, particularly a “dating” relationship, it is easy to give yourself away. You may find yourself so caught up in the excitement and the infatuation of being with the other person, that you agree with almost everything the other person says and wants. However, as the relationship progresses, putting what you want and need below the needs and desires of the other person leads not only to giving yourself away, but damaging your self-love and your blossoming relationship.

The bottom line is that it is imperative to “Maintain Your Boundaries” (Heart Dating Principle No. 3). The seemingly simple act of maintaining your boundaries allows you to come together yet maintain your individuality, so as not to give yourself away to the other person and ultimately lose yourself in the relationship. Healthy boundaries reinforce the fact that you are complete within yourself and that you are coming together with this other person because you “want” to be and not because you “need” to be. When you come together in this way, you are more of an equal partner and your self-love remains intact.

In the Native American tradition, the Wedding vase serves as an ideal unifying symbol of being together but separate. It is a single vessel designed with two spouts symbolizing a man and woman living separate lives who are coming together. Individuals coming together while still maintaining their individuality is the best way to form a commitment of trust and strength.

Published on Monday April 26, 2010 in Start with Self-Love. 0 Comments Tags: boundaries, self-love, wedding vase.

What is “Energy Leadership?”

Honoring who you truly are in all aspects of your life enables you to fully express yourself. When you are able to live in alignment with your core values; your level of consciousness, or level of energy remains high. When your energy is high, you are more likely to attract a person aligned with your “core” values and ultimately the relationship you desire.

This way of “being” is achieved through a unique process known as “Energy Leadership.” Leadership is how you interact with everyone, including yourself. We tend to think of leaders in relation to small and large business. However, we all interact with people on a regular basis and, therefore, we are all leaders. Leading energy is the way we help move people into action, including ourselves.

The Energy Leadership process enables you to be the leader in your relationship journey by gaining the awareness and skills to raise your overall level of consciousness, or level of energy. It is based on the premise that sustainable change occurs from the “core.”

Through this process, you will deepen your relationship with yourself, bringing you greater awareness of your true values and ultimately raise your overall energy level, or E-Factor. Once you have gained this awareness, it becomes relatively effortless to embark on your relationship journey and ultimately find your ideal loving partner in a way that brings you passion and joy.

Published on Wednesday July 22, 2009 in Energy and Relationship and Uncategorized. 0 Comments Tags: consciousness, core, energy, Navigate from the Heart, self-love, values.

3 Steps to Bring Love Into Your Life

Love will enter your life only to the extent that you are prepared to receive it. Bringing love into your life begins with you. Real love, love that is deep and true and will last a lifetime, will come to you when you have identified and worked through the inner limitations that have hindered you from experiencing true love until now.

Step 1: Reflect on Your Life

You may think that looking for love means joining internet dating sites, going to single’s venues or joining dating services. While these methods increase opportunity, they don’t increase the likelihood of lasting connection with another person.

I invite you to let love into your life knowing that all of your childhood experiences and all your past relationships, whether wonderful or difficult, have been preparing you for today. All of these past experiences helped to make you the person you are today.

Nothing you have done so far is a mistake or a waste of time. Rather, it has been critical to your personal growth and necessary in preparation to lead you to the love of your life.

Step 2: Identify Your Inner Limitations

We all have voices in our heads playing old messages. They serve as inner limitations and keep us small in some way. Most old messages develop in response to a childhood issue we faced in fear.

To keep you safe, you developed a protection strategy which eventually became a “story” you repeatedly told yourself. It worked for a long time when you were a child. Now, it is so embedded in your being, you still hold tight to that childhood message or “story,” even though you are now an adult. It is a default. This old message no longer serves you; now, it has the potential to cause you harm.

So, what can you do?

Step 3: Understand What Your Inner “Voices” Really Want

All inner voices have “positive intent” no matter how negative their messages may seem. Through the process of “positive intent,” you can discover what your inner voice really wants. How? By asking it, “What do you want?” Eventually, your self-limiting voice will respond with a “core” want such as oneness, peace or love.

Once you can determine the underlying positive “want” of that inner voice, you can then embrace it as a critical part of who you are. The next time you hear it, you can notice it, appreciate it’s helpful intent, and transform it into a more suitable message for who you are today.

Take the time to listen to your voices. They contain important information about what you really want and lend clues to areas that cause you fear. By paying attention and transforming “stories” that no longer serve you, you will be more open to finding true and lasting love.